5:20

pag-ibig na dati ay isang pangarap
natupad nang ikaw ay makayakap
pakiramdam ay nakahiga sa ulap
lumilipad sa gitna na sa  alapaap

pinagbigyang pagkakataon ng Diyos ika’y sakin ay biyaya
pag-ibig mo at kakaibang katauhan, at tunay na pag-aalaga
ako ay nanalangin, na sana, ito ay hindi na kailanman pa mawala
ngunit isang saglit, ng isang hakbang ako’y natulala
ika’y biglang lumisan, at nawala ng parang bula

aking unan ay puno ng luha dahil sa panaginip na puro paasa
gusto kong bumalik sa pagkahimbing, kung pupuwede lang sana
wala ka na, hinahanap kita, hindi ko ito kaya, sana muli kang magpakita
ngunit kathang isip lang kita, binuhay na huwad ng isip kong maganda lumikha

ikaw ay pinalangin na makasama habang tumutugtog ang kampana ng simbahan
wala ka na, wala nang saysay na magpatuloy pa, natupad na ang takot na dati mong pinabulaanan
lumuha na ang sabi mong nakakadalang kagandahan ng aking mga mata, wala ka na pakialam, di ako makatahan
kailan mo balak na ako’y kausapin pa? ka-plastikan na bang maiituturing ang dating gandang loob na saki’y pinamalasan

hindi ka na darating, hindi na ako umaasa sa mga taon na iyong ipinangako, pinagmalaki mo na na masaya ka, di na kita guguluhin pa
hindi ko alam kung bakit ako nasasaktan na malamang sa kanya ay ngumingiti at masaya ka
gayong plano ko lamang noong una ay gawin na pasayahin ka at ang nadurog na sarili, muling mabuo ka
ngayong nakikita ko na natupad na, nahulog ako sayo, ngunit pagpapalipas oras sa akin ay tapos na pala…..

random thoughts : the past

i would never delete past blog posts

why??

because these are posts from my temporary inspiration

the person who made my life blissful for some moment

the moment that i would love to cherish forever

a promise i gave that would last a lifetime

a span that would make me live for eternity

living without such inspiration gave me immortal sorrows

so many questions for this nightmare, in this coma, i would want to dream again

i miss you truly

i’ve been trying to mend, but i just can’t

but at the end of the day

i realized

atleast i had you

even for a moment

just for a moment

im thankful

that even for a short time

i’ve had such inspiration

i had you once, then i lost you

but i’d rather had you once and lost you

than to live my life, not even experiencing the temporal happiness

that you once gave me..

i should’ve known

The laughing voices


of lovers passing by


makes me get all choked up.


Even though the rain has stopped


on this weekend afternoon,


I'm walking the streets all alone,


even though


I want to be with you.


I should have known this.


If I fell in love with you that much,


I would hurt just as much.


Even though I know it's heart-wrenching,


I keep thinking only of you,


even when


I can't see you.


Even though


I know I shouldn't think about


how I wish we could always be together,


even now, the voice of my heart,


which I've tried to suppress,


seems to overflow


endlessly...


so much so that it hurts.


I should have known.


  I just can't keep my love for you


inside, all to myself.


But now, it's a precious thought.


I believe in the truth


only I see,


and keep on loving you.


..and so the heartscreams….

Oh why did it all happened in such an abruptious manner

Thinking about everything that happened was just a short lived fantasy

Focusing on different things just to escape from this pain

Giving my wound that bleeds endlessly an uneffective first aid

Everything seems to be so fast but I’m trying to go with it even if I’m just forced to do it

Maybe someday all things will be better, I just hope that tomorrow is that someday

I’ve lost somebody recently and it gave me so many sleepless nights

I can’t sleep thinking about it

Sleeping, I’ve had dreams that showed me vivid memories that those smiles have created

I need you back, baby I need you back so badly.. I’ve been waiting for you to come back

But I think you’ve made up your mind already, sorry to me -by myself

Leaving me, you took everything away from me.. my rights, my happiness, my heart

You held my heart in fragile but after it accidentally slipped from your hands,

You never tried to put back the shattered pieces and just left everything in mess

You’ve lost hope, you gave up, im such a dope, can somebody give me a rope? NO!

My heart is engulfed with burning sorrow, melting my ice-like heart to vapor into thin air

I’m living with these demons of my own design inside my heart

I made them, but this horror must not remain, not now, not ever

There must be serenity, I hope she’s on her way, but its hard to expect, im so scared

And now that you’re gone, I am so free to do everything

But I just missed those days that I can be myself, the real me

Happy. Loving. Creative. Committed. Me.

i miss EU :(

I can’t sleep,
I just can’t breathe.
when your shadow is all over me baby
Don’t wanna be a fool in your eyes
Cause what we had was built on lies.

And when our love seems to fade away,
Listen to me hear what I say.

I don’t wanna feel the way that i do,
I just wanna be right there with you,
I don’t wanna see,
see us apart,
I just wanna say it straight from my heart,
I miss you…..

What would it take for you to see?
To make you understand that i’ll always believe.
You and i can make it through,
And i still know I can’t get over you.

Cause when our love seems to fade away,
Listen to me hear what I say,

I don’t wanna feel,
the way that I do,
I just wanna be,
right here with you,
I don’t wanna see,
see us apart.
I just wanna say it straight from my heart,
oh baby i miss you,
i do…

Cause when our love always fades away,
Listen to me hear what I say.. oh baby i miss you… i so do…

Happy 4th moon…. eight

can’t believe you actually forgot this

this day ive waited

kept my self busy just for me to be blamed for the amnesia

but still nothing

ive waited till our days switched same

but what the hell? still nothing?

"i dont accept friend requests ng mga di ko kilala"

"i wont set that pic as primary, promise"

bahala ka na nga….i wont be posting blogs for you anymore

go on, ill wait nalang

this will be the last

am i pissed? yes i am if you would ask

or  maybe im just expecting so much

nah, enough! enough!

last na talaga to…

kill me pag may kasunod pa…

last words

Here goes the story of a kid we thought we knew,
He hid a hate inside and
had a state of mind that put him in his grave.
It began with his friends,
they never noticed the despair in his eyes,
from the pressure,
his life was etched in stone before he made a choice of his own.

He’s dedicated for everyday that he made it on his own,
in his girl’s eyes,
he’s a pair of dice;
he won’t be number one.

So he tries to comply,
with everything she’ve ever asked,
and his life is stitched with one way ticket,
to places he doesn’t want to visit.

He says,
"I’m never going to be perfect,
maybe I don’t deserve this,
but I’m doing the best I can.
I can’t deal with this pressure,
it feels like my whole life’s etched in stone,
before I’ve made a choice of my own."

So save your breath
because you’ll need it when you hang from the rope,
cause of death;
obvious from the suicide note,
the last words that filled the page,
‘If no one will listen,
then no one will miss when I’m gone.’

Across town his girl sits at home all alone,
never knowing her boyfriend was never going to come home,
The last thoughts that filled her head,
"I’ll tell him I’m sorry,
I’ll say I regret what I said.
Now i miss you, please come back to me now."

His bedroom is filled with emptiness tonight,
as the silence cuts through like a knife,
knowing he’s not there, nobody’s in there.

made for tv movie

I heard a word from on high
Clear like a light in the sky
It said, "quit blowing each other up"

The voice seemed so crystally clear
Some things are clean in your ear
When only blood fills your cup

It fell like a tear from my eye
Flying machines so up high
Well, there goes the neighborhood

A scene set to singe innocence
Upheave, unhinge, and pit against
Like every made for TV movie should

Hello
I’m trying to focus, but my eyes deceive me
Focus
I’m witnessing history repeating

Focus, Focus
Focus (I can see now)

We are, we know, we see, we think for you
The who, the what, the when, the where, the why
We build your hill, we build you too, we see you

FOCUS! FOCUS! FOCUS JUN! FOCUS!

i’ll never say goodbye…

i think of those great smiles everyday

those effort of yours just for me not to worry.

im so scared to let you go

because im so afraid that you might end up  with a dying soul.

these empty spaces between us is  making me think

clicking every pages that might lead me to your link.

i dont know how you are now, what things you do to get over it

all i know is i have trust and faith, and you can count on it.

ill be honest, im really sad

but words and promises from you helps me to understand.

im letting you now, take your time to be fine,

but ill never let you go, and you will always be mine. (^^,)

blah blah blahss

meron ka palang close up video sa youtube ung grad3 na vid

ngaun ko lang nakita un, its funny how it makes me cry….

naiiyak ako pag nakikita ko ung smile sa mga labi mo

naiiyak ako pag nakikita ka, kung gaano ka kaganda

di ko alam pero every night, i think of you

nasasaktan talaga ako, di kita pwede kausapin

ang hirap isipin na dalawang taon ang bubunuin ko na wala ka

pano kung makahanap ka na ng iba, iiyak ako ng sobra

may tiwala ako sau na ok ka, di ka katulad ng iba

wag ka sana gagawa ng mga bagay na ikakagalit ko sayo

huwag mo na sana akong pahirapan kung wala na talaga

pero maghihintay ako, kahit gaano kasakit

hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit?

bakit nangyayari sakin ito?

di ako mabait para maranasan ang mga bagay na ito

im not worth this obstacle

i think para lang to sa mababait, nagkamali ata SIYA ng pinatamaan ng problemang ito

sobrang sakit, napakasakit, di ko na ata makakaya

pero anong magagawa ko, wala na, pero aasa pa ba ako? dapat, mahal ko eh..

wala akong pakialam sa iba, nagiging suplado na nga raw talaga ako sabi ng bestfriend ko

hindi ko alam, bakit ganito ang nangyari sakin…

di ko ito gawain, di ko alam kung bakit

sa umaga pinipilit kong ngumiti, na parang walang nangyayari sakin

pero di mo pala talaga pwedeng lokohin ang sarili mo, lalabas at lalabas talaga un

sa oras na gumalaw ako, nakakaya ko, kaylangan ko maging consistent sa pag galaw, kaylangan

pero pagkatumigil nako sa kakagalaw, ayan na, wala na, tulo na ang tutulo

di ko ito sinusulat para bumalik ka, gusto ko lang malaman mo ang saloobin ko

un eh kung nagbabasa ka pa nga ng mga bagay tungkol sakin

nahihirapan ako, di ko sinasabi sa bestfriend ko, sa lahat, ang sakit dahil sinasarili ko

walang makakabasa nito, kung papalarin, ikaw lang, di ko hinihiling na mabasa mo ito

dahil ayokong makadagdag pa sa pasanin at iisipin mo

sana, kung magkatotoo man na dalawang taon pa talaga

parehas taung maging loyal sa isa’t isa

sana akin ka lang at ako’y sayo lamang parin ang motto naten

kaya ko maghintay, kakayanin ko maghintay, di ako maghahanap ng iba

walang mangyayari kung gagawa pa ako ng katangahan, ikaw ang mahal ko eh

ayoko na magkarelasyon pa sa ibang tao, ikaw na talaga ang gusto ko

oo at marami pang babae sa buong mundo, pero di nila kaya ang ginagawa mo sakin

ikaw lang ang nakakapanakot sakin, ikaw lang ang sinusunod ko sa lahat ng mga nakarelasyon ko

sana isave mo ang lahat para sakin, gaya ng pangako mo dahil ako, tutuparin ko lahat ng sinabi ko

may tiwala ako sayo, kaya mo yan, andito parin lang naman ako eh, di kita iiwan

basta kung handa ka na, wag mo na hintayin ang dalawang taon, kasi pinapahirapan moko eh

nakakainis ka, pero mahal talaga kita, ikaw lang ang minahal ko nang ganito

lahat ng paraan ginagawa ko na para mapabilis, sana malapit na, gusto ko narin makita ang anak ko eh

sana bukas, pagharap ko dito sa pc ko, di nako iiyak, di nako malulungkot

pero asa pa ako, ang tanga tanga ko talaga, kinakausap ko ang sarili ko, wala kasi makausap na iba

di ko alam kung tama to, nagpapakabading ako dito habang alam ko naman na wala na talagang darating

matagal pa darating dahil sya nga ang umalis at nagpaalam naman sya na matatagalan sya

pero andito talaga ako, baka kasi naiwan nya ung panyo nya, nagbabakasakali ako palagi

sana mamaya na, sana bukas na, walang humpay na pag-asa

di ko maipapangako na palagi akong ganito

pero kung matigil man ako sa paghihintay ng ganito, maaring busy ako or maraming ginagawa

pero hindi eh, kahit busy ako, talgang i make sure na makakaOL ako, syempre ganun talga ako umasa eh

basta sana, bukas na, sana, sana, tapos na ang pagiyak ko gabi gabi

sana masanay ako kahit konti(na alam kong malabong mangyari)

sana bumalik ka na, nahihirapan na talaga ako, pero kung di ka pa talaga handa

tuparin mo lang ang pangako mo, lahat ha, lahat ng pangako mo

ill be more than relieved, at palagi mong iingatan ang sarili mo

di pa ako sumusuko, pinapaalalahanan lang kita, na kahit mejo bumitaw ka, hawak ko parin ang bestida mo

di kita hahayaang mahulog, parati akong nasa likod mo, naninilip sau

may karapatan naman akong gawin un, akin ka lang eh, hehe

basta tandaan mo parati, mahal na mahal kita

di ako maghahanap ng iba, ayokong kalimutan ka kahit sobrang naluluha ako pag naaalala kita

kahit na basang basa na ang unan ko at natatakot si mike pag gabi dahil akala may multong naiyak

kahit na ano pang mangyari, tutuparin ko yan lahat ng pangako ko

di ako makakalimot, tinitiis ko lang dahil kaylangan mo nga at nirerespeto ko ang desisyon mo

tandaan mo, di pako nasuko sau, binibigyan lang kita ng oras

pag di ko na talga kaya, humanda ka, kahit ayaw mo

masakit talaga ito, pero sana kayanin ko pa

-super daddy juu(-_-)

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